Anonymous, Part II

"im suprised at how well u handled my comments. wasnt tryin to get a reaction out of u"
That's a bit of an oxymoron, isn't it?
Regarding me possibly not being a "complete & utter wanker", well I can say with absolutely no remorse that you liking me does not mean any more to me than you disliking me. And I really don't care how I come across; I'm not really looking to make friends. I'm not going to start acting any differently, thank you, and I don't think I do "prey on innocent victims". I wouldn't say I "prey" on anyone, and no-one is innocent these days.
It doesn't matter that your latest comment was more pleasant than the others, there's still no identity behind it and therefore is meaningless.
There is the possibility that you are not the same person who posted the original comments, but once I obtain the necessary IP addresses I guess I'll find out. The question will then become 'what should I do with the IP address of someone who anonymously attacked me?'

Don't give your opinion when it isn't wanted. "end of"

For The Big (Wo)Man Who Hides Behind Their Keyboard

I am going to assume that the three comments posted by 'anonymous' on this blog are by the same person, as they were posted within three minutes of each other.
I didn't think many people actually hated me. Sure, I'm not the most popular guy, but the opposite of love is indifference. At least you read my blog. Thanks, I guess.
Anyway, I can't even begin to guess who you are, and I'm none too curious. Now I do realise that the internet is all about the free exchange of unprejudiced opinions, however I'd like recommend that 'if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all'.
Now perhaps this isn't vicious, perhaps it's just a playful joke, but I can't be bothered with debating that.
Yes, perhaps people weren't dancing to Delve because they don't like me, that is true. But those sort of comments will sadly not get the desired reaction: insecurity. I do not particularly care who does or does not like me. Also, whether or not I am popular is irrelevant; FayeTing is also in Delve and since it was her house, I'm pretty sure everyone likes her. So that's a moot point.
Secondly, "get a life"... I am a teenage boy, filming play-fights and adding funny/stupid effects to them is part of my life. Again, you won't make me feel bad for being a "loser", because, frankly, how valid is the opinion of a person too scared to even sign a comment with their name?
And finally, don't even try and make me worry about Alissa. I trust her more than anyone else. No-one could make me worry about our relationship. And as for Tom, well let's just say we have all seen that he is far too much of a nice person to get involved with a friend's girlfriend (even if he doesn't like me that much, as I'm sure you're eager to point out, I still think he's better than that).
All in all, I'd just like to say that if you have a problem with me, either leave a reply address, or don't say anything at all. Nobody likes a pussy with a big mouth.

Thanks.

Super Zero

So I've got this game called City of Heroes, and it is awesome: you make your own super hero, then super around, saving the day and such! There's a snag, though, it's online-only, so you gotta pay a monthly subscription fee. Arg. Still, it's worth it to be a super hero I created; that's been a dream of mine since I was a kid. But they have designed the game so that the best way to play it is on a team with other people, real-time like. But even that is pretty good; I hate interaction, but being on a super-team is a cool notion. Sadly, the times when I wanna play (12 midnight on a Monday/Tuesday) there aren't many other people online to play. And it's a frustrating, not to mention slightly boring game to play alone. So I bought the game, paid my subscription, and now it isn't much fun to play. Also, it's very hard to level up, and it isn't much fun at low levels. I can't even fly yet. And I can't have a cape yet. And I only have about five different (extremely similar) attacks. Irony is, for the game to get good, I have to play more!
I was introduced to the wonderful world of torrents today by a Mr. Thomas Parsons. It is amazing, but the obscure shit that I listen to takes twenty-odd hours to download. And half the time, they aren't mp3s, they are "FLAC lossless" files. Which is computer speak for "Haha, Jack just spent hours downloading us and he can't even use us". That's a minor setback, though.
My bed is covered in clothes and junk, so the more tired I get, the harder it will be to tidy my bed before I can get any sleep, but every time I think about doing it, I think "nah I'm too tired...". Dang my logic.
Yeah, really fucked off about my game, though I well wanna play it now.

Up, up and away.

Once In A While

Went to FayeTing's last night, on the whole it was a sweet evening, a good group of people. I was being somewhat of a nazi with the music, but I was (mostly) choosing songs that everyone knew/liked. Impressed with Alex Bentley's music tastes, well done her.
There's one slight issue I have, though: I put on Delve (my band, check us out) at a few different points in the evening and, not being big headed, I actually think we are pretty good. Jenni, FayeTing and Me were dancin' away... But no-one else joined in. I think that's kinda rude, people don't seem to like Delve and I don't know why, 'cause I seriously think we make enjoyable music. And even if you don't really like it, it would be polite to dance to your friend's band, at least pretend like you're enjoying it. Faye always says it's because they are jealous, and I guess to a certain extent that could be true, but still.
I got drunk for the first time in about six months (and for the second time in about a year) and, although I did enjoy it, I won't be doing it again any time soon. I felt a bit queasy when I got home, and I pretty sure I acted like a drunk dickhead, which is the reason I don't drink.
Katie Miller is insane. She keeps baiting me out on MSN, getting us into arguments, and the other day she said something about me being a loser related to me not drinking (regardless of last night, that was a one-time thing), so I blocked her on MSN, because I'm tired of all the arguments frankly, and I don't appreciate being called a loser for not drinking by a fucking waster like her. So she tried to talk to me when I got to Faye's, I tried to walk away, but she (quite violently) grabbed me and started pushing me and all this, and behind me was the front door... SO I turned and ran out of it, went round the back and came back in the house that way. Ha-HA! SO she got extremely upset/angry/whatever, I think she left the party at that point.
I had some slight issues with Alissa, I won't go into it, I think it was the alcohol making me moody. We're cool now, however, and I love her very much.

The new AFI album is AMAZING.

Proof

Moaner of the year, go me. I only posted this so I could have a suitable profile image.

FINISH HIM

Here's something to entertain yourselves while you wait for my next post:

Moaner of the Year

Right this is supposed to be a Book of Moan, not a fuckin' diary, so I'll keep this bit brief:
Managed to stay awake all night, went through periods of almost falling asleep to extreme hyperactivity in the space of five minutes on Thursday.
Friday = last day of school ever. It was fun, had a great time at school, then went to see X-Men 3 at Bluewater. Then came back to Lloyd's for a bit and then on to Alissa's house. It was a good day.
I'm supposed to be tidying my room, but I decided to take a break. The break extended by about half an hour, though, as my internet decided to be a dick, so I had to spend ages trying to re-configure and de-cajigger all sorts of IP addresses and network connections before I realised what the problem was: a wire had come unplugged from my modem. Time taken to fix: three seconds. Grr.
My sister always uses the bathroom loads, pisses me off. OK, so I don't NEED a bath right now or whatever, it just annoys me when I'm about to have a bath, after waiting an hour for the water to heat up again after her last bath, when she dives in for another bath, revealing that she hadn't actually had a bath an hour ago, just washed her hair. Fuck's sake.
I thought X-Men 3 was amazing, and I'd recommend it to anyone and everyone. Vinnie Jones was possibly the worst choice of actor for Juggernaut ever, but he wasn't in it too much, so I don't think it ruined the entire film (unlike Tom).
On Thursday I won an award for being "The Biggest Moaner of The Year", which certainly justifies this blog. Go me.
I feel well greasy, eurgh. Got a well good hoody yesterday.
I got called a loser the other day, because I don't drink. That makes me want to not drink even more, but I'm being driven to and from FayeTing's tonight, which makes me want to get slaughtered just because I can... Hmm, moral decisions, gotta love 'em.
It's so strange that I've now officially finished school. It sounds odd, but I don't want to grow up...
I feel like I have more to say, but I want a bath right now, I'll probably do another post later. That's more of a warning than a promise.

Untill then.

Brief Update, Just For Faye Ting

Me tired now, suffice to say I went 31.5 hours without sleep. Just had a nap, parents woke me up, head so disoriented! Need more sleep... So much more.

Illuminati and Illuminating the Sky

I'm thinking about turning in and getting two and a half hours sleep, purely out of sheer boredom. I'm pretty tired, I guess, but I wonder if a small amount of sleep would be worse than none at all...? Either way, there is nothing to do but read or work, neither of which I can be bothered to do... But I've gone this long... It's kinda cool being awake when pretty much no-one else is. But there's nothing on TV and no-one on MSN (except this guy who doesn't ever sign out). I have browsed the fartherst corners of the internet, and the Shipwrecked page still isn't working... Nothing left to do. Argh, I want to sleep, but equally I want to stay awake... Decisions, decisions.

* * *

So it's about half an hour later now; about 4.10am. I'm still tired, but no more so than I was at about 2, I've just lost my caffene buzz. Three and a half more hours and I can leave for school. I'll grab some coffee before then to keep me going, and from there it should be easy; I just gotta stumble through my last Thursday, make it home, then I'll sleep. Which will be in about ten hours, probably less. Reassuring. I'm still really bored, though.

* * *

I can see dawn's early light and hear the birds singing it in. I'm also getting drowsier and paranoid about conspiracy theories.
Then again, consider this: say the Illuminati do exist, say the world is controlled by a handful of people who are keeping exquisite knowledge from us... So? How would that being true or false directly influence our lives? Maybe I'm being ignorant, but surely if they truly were that powerful, us knowing wouldn't make a difference. Anyway, whatever. It's almost 4.30 now... Jeez, hurry up. This will do for my blog now, otherwise it'll end up being fifty pages long.

"Yeah"

So right now it is 1.47 am on Thursday the 25th of May 2006, and as it stands I have been nineteen hours without sleep. Hmm, it feels like it's been longer. Yeah, I decided to go without sleep tonight. "Why?", you ask? Two reasons:

1. I am interested to see how well I function whilst undergoing sleep deprivation.
2. I am a teenager and stupid shit is what I do.

Yeah, I left my window open and now I'm cold, yet I don't close it. And my coffee is making me throw up a little in my mouth when I burp. It's quite ghastly.
Yeah, this isn't much of a moan, I'm just really really bored (burp, more vomit) so I thought I'd document my... Er... Whatever.
I could/should tidy my room or start some revision or do something productive rather than just sit mindlessly on MSN or watch TV. I could even make some more music. I can't really be bothered, though. Anyway, the night is young. Well, it isn't, but if all goes to plan, I have about five more hours of this to go, then I gotta go to school (oh, God, what the fuck am I DOING?! I've started now, though, may as well finish; I'm gonna be tired tomorrow no matter what at this point).

Yeah... Yeah.

The Non-Bitching Blog

So everyone is expecting a blog about how "Tom's a dickhead" and "he's being a prick", and although that’s true, I don't want to talk about it in such a way.
I'm more upset than angry or annoyed. I've been getting on really well with Tom lately, and I've been having great fun messing around with him. But then yesterday he was acting kind of harshly towards me. Not in an entirely serious way, but still noticeable. I'm sure it's just because he was in a bad mood, but that should be a reason, not an excuse. Also, I retaliated by being somewhat wanker-ish, but I was deliberately trying to wind him up; I get the feeling Tom didn't intend to piss me off as much as he did. And, honest to God, he moans more than I do nowadays. I have been making a real effort to be less negative (except on here, of course - this mah house), and I think/hope I am improving, at least a little. Others have agreed that Tom now moans more than I do. And I am starting to see why I annoy people when I moan.
Anyway, I decided to wind Tom up some more today by spraying his hair with yellow hair-spray. He got so angry. But you know what, I don't care, because he threw a fucking stone at me yesterday and it well hurt. Loads of us had yellow spray in their hair anyway, he was just being a spoilsport.

The End.

Professor Terror Caught In Public

So I went to school with full Professor Terror gear today. The accordion went down well. Except with a few trendy girls, who kept complaining about it, making comments about how it was "hurting their heads". Ahw, the poor dearies. It pisses me off how some people only view something as acceptable if they have a part in it, or if they are gaining something from it. Anyway, I didn't stop.
Tom had a tantrum because I was reluctant to let him play it for a third time, seeing as the prior two times he had caused shouting from the aforementioned clique. When he had calmed down a little I said he could play it again, but only if he was sensible. At first he was, but then he got a bit worked up, so I had to take it away again.
Got my Physics practical exam in sixteen and a half hours. I have tried to revise for it, but none of it seems particularly demanding (despite the fact that I never do very well in class; I think my teacher just marks really harshly). I'm feeling a little more optimistic towards exams (not including tomorrow - AHH) because I worked out that I only have to get 75% on my remaining three maths exams, and that's not including my S1 re-take on Wednesday. If I do well in that, then I might just swing an A. Psychology is a similar story. Physics I can hopefully grab a B. I hope I use my half term wisely... Stuff like this always seems to come together at the end of the year.
This may be one of the least moany blogs I have written so far... Don't expect it to happen very often.

As you were.

Pre-emptive Jealousy

So Alissa suggested that, as I am taking a gap year, I should apply for the television show 'shipwrecked', on which contestants (as a part of one of two teams) are basically stranded on a desert island and have to complete tasks an' stuff. Sounds pretty fun. Free holiday and you get to be on television; pretty sweet. I mentioned the idea to Chris T. So naturally, he decided to also apply. And now the site keeps fucking up, so I can't apply. So now I'm torturing myself over the concept that I won't be able to apply, and Chris will be chosen to do it, 'cause he's the kind of kid who luck always seems to favour.
I'd be so mega-pissed if that happened. Yeah, I know, it's a long shot, and I doubt I'd get on it even if I could apply, but still. Grr.
Also I couldn't go to Jenni's birthday pub lunch 'cause I haven't been doing enough work.
I haven't heard from either of the two offices I applied for a job at. I handed in my CV to Virgin, hopefully I'll get that; it'd be pretty sweet.
God damn, why won't this fucking site work?

Now I'm going to do some work.

Evening Update: "Oh For Fuck's..."

My sister just came home... With about seven friends and a few DVDs... So no eurovision for Jack.

Great.

Linux is a Cruel Mistress

I hate waking up late. I always feel like I've wasted half the day. It's my own fault for staying up until 2a.m. trying to get my Linux live CD working. I managed it in the end, but once I'm using it, I have NO idea what I'm doing. And no-one else knows a thing about it, so all I can do is tentatively press buttons and enter commands I've read on crappy websites. I can't even find a 'basic guide to Linux'. Argh. I mean, everything is working OK, but I don't know how to activate my wireless card and therefore access the internet. It's a proper struggle, like trying to teach yourself to drive when you've never seen it done before; "Right... So... What does this key thingy do?" I'd love to learn some basic programming, and perhaps one day be more skilled at Linux than Windows. A man can dream...
I thought I'd stay in and do some work today, ended up doing half an S1 paper. HALF! Christ. I'm gonna try and do another whole one before the night is up. I also have a headache. And my character on City of Heroes won't level up!

Come on, Lordi, make my day.

Two Things:

One. Green Wing. Alright, so I am very quick to judge; I have only ever watched a grand total of about an hour and a half of this program, but what the fuck. It is terrible. It cannot decide if it wants to be a serious drama, with mounting tension throughout the hour (or seventy minutes or however long it is), or an overly immature, slapstick, ridiculous comedy. The plot wore thin on me, and like I said, I haven't even watched two episodes. The main sources of humour seem to revolve around 'bum-sex', 'poo jokes' (which strike a personal chord as well) and horrendous awkwardness built on sexual tension (like Peep Show, except poorly executed). To summarise: Green Wing, in my opinion, is the worst television program I have watched in a long time. And I caught some Big Brother earlier.
Perhaps I am being a bit harsh, but this could be explained psychologically: every time I have watched it, not only have I been sucked dry of all enthusiasm, but I seem to be unwanted by my friends, even when the only reason I'm watching it is because it was insisted by them that I should be present and the I would enjoy it. This brings us onto item two.

A few days ago, I was invited to come to Charlotte's house tonight. At first I declined, my reason being, "No thanks, I don't really like Green Wing," but I was assured that it wouldn't be a 'Green Wing evening', and that I should come. As it turns out, Alissa passed her driving test earlier today (congratulations), so I thought it would be a good idea if she picked me up and we went to Charlotte's; I like being driven, and was anxious to be driven somewhere by Alissa.
So we got there and, lo and behold, Green Wing was on. I plonked on the piano for a few seconds just to irritate people (but quite obviously as a joke, however some people were not amused). On a side note, Alissa popped off to see George and said she'd come back to drive me home. So I went and sat in the living room. It wasn't bad at first: there was conversation. But then the television volume got turned up to combat the talking. So I sat in silence and held my tongue for as long as I could. But it got to a point where I just couldn't be fucked anymore, so I made a few snidely comments. I probably shouldn't have, but I don't regret it, and I'd probably do it again. That program is truly awful, I don't care what anyone else says.
So then I got a glare or two, someone even said, "well if you don't like it, don't watch it!"
Fine then. So I got up and went and sat in the kitchen in silence, alone, for an hour.
I am so glad I spent my evening with my friends. This is very bitchy, and I imagine half the people I'm talking about will probably read this. But this is how I feel, so this is what I write.
Anyway, by the time I'd been driven back to Eltham (very kindly by Alissa, thank you) I was in a mood and it was midnight, so she didn't come in. So we didn't get to spend any time together, either. Fucking great.

Jack out.

Half Jill and half Jack

So I'm driving to school this morning, and I pulled out in front of this van. It was going slowly, owing to the heavy traffic, and I had plenty of time to get in front of him. Then when I turn down a side road to skip the long queue at a roundabout, he follows me. I don't mean he was following me, he just was obviously going the same way as I was. And he's being a right prick, tailgating to the max. Then when I get onto the gravel private road that I cut down, he floors it and overtakes me. I put my foot down, but I didn't quite keep up because a) my car wasn't fast enough and b) I wanted my suspension to remain intact. But jeez man, what a wanker! I hate aggressive drivers more than I hate old-lady drivers. Come on, will getting two or three cars in front really make much difference to your journey? Geh.
Then my two frees were boring, 'cause Tom wasn't in, so I had no-one to play with.
Then... I came home. And I had barely sat down, when my mum comes in, seeming fairly happy, and she asks "can I have a moan?" jokingly. I say "no," seriously. She thinks I'm joking...
Let me describe a situation to you: I'm watching some crap on TV for five minutes before I go to school. Then I hear the cleaners come in the front door. Now, I got nothing against them as people, I'm sure they are lovely, I just hate having strangers in my house. However, I try my best to disguise this, and I'm always pleasant when I see them. But I digress. So I go out to put my shoes on, and one of the cleaners is standing there. So I smile and say 'hello', and she does likewise. Then I shout 'bye' to my mum, call for my sister to hurry up and leave the house.
Apparently my mother wants to moan at me because I was so 'rude' to the cleaners this morning. WHAT? Apparently, I was rude, because I did not go and find the other cleaner and greet her a 'good morning'. And therefore I seem like a rude child. And therefore she has failed as a mother. She loves telling me that. Anyway, I was having none of it, and my mother being my mother, started shouting about everything under the sun. I won't describe the full hour-long argument, but here is a taste of some of the topics that came up:

• I am an ungrateful child for asking why we had no salsa
• I am a terrible person because I left the shampoo out on the side of the bath
• She has failed as a mother because I didn't seek and greet the cleaner
• I am just being melodramatic when I display anxiety

Then my dad yells at her to stop it (about a million times), so she turns to him and says "did you know that last week he said he didn't like you?". Great. My mother is a tell-tale. Thankfully, my dad just said "of course he doesn't like me, he's a teenager!" which just goes to show, I really do like my dad very much.
Urgh I'm just sick of her calling me a failure, calling herself a failure, over the most ridiculously trivial things. I'm just glad my dad agrees with me. He said she'd been looking for an argument for the past two days. My mum is a crazy sometimes, and there's no reasoning with a crazy.
Other than that, it's been an average day. "Woe, exams!" etc. Yawn.
Going to Nandos this evening for Cousin's birthday do. He got a PSP from his school friends for his birthday! What a fuck! I'm well jealous, a fuckin' PSP!!! From his friends!!! Jesus.
Apart from that, all I have to say is that I have finished my tea, so I have to go make another one. Oh goody, I get to leave my room. Hopefully I will steer clear of my eccentric mother.
For the record:

1. I love both my parents
2. Half Jack is a Dresden Dolls song which I really love. It's about the singer's parents. Half Jill and half Jack? Get it? Point is, it's not my confession of being a drag queen.

And that's that.

Part one of my aaagonising life.

I'm Jack. I moan a lot. Too much, some might say. Therefore, I am now going to do all of my bitching, ranting, whining and moaning on here from now on. Ok now that we've got that out of the way, let's get started.
Hmm, I'm not sure where to begin. How about this: The Playstation Three. I have no idea what it's going to be like (actually, I have seen a video of the motion sensor controller), other than hideously expensive, but that isn't where my beef is; my beef is with the font they are using. It's the Spiderman font. If not the exact one, then a damn similar one. And no-one else seems to have noticed. What's up with that?
OK, so that isn't really a moan, I'm sure I could get away with mentioning it in public without being scorned. But whatever, it's my blog, I'll write what I want.
My exams are getting really close. I have two next week. I'm still wasting my evenings on my laptop, rather than working. And even though I'm hardly swamped under with work, I am feeling so stressed. I think I'm just terrified of failing, which is causing me to not work in some insane psychological twist. Ironic. I just feel so absolutely shit about it all lately. So I don't work. So I feel worse. It's like some sort of downward spiral.
We had a mock in Physics today, which I totally forgot about (like I would have revised even if I'd remembered). So I got 27/40. I still beat a lot of my class (about four out of nine of them), but I really want to get an A in Physics (I'm hoping to study Astrophysics at UCL next year) and as it stands I'm on a B, which means I need to get ten marks HIGHER than an A in my final three exams to get an A overall. Eep. And Matt tries about as hard as I do, but he succeeds a lot more. He got 38/40 today. So I'm really jealous. That put me in a foul mood, and on top of the Lawrence thing (see the next blog I do, it's a long story), I got moody in general and even moodier at Matt.
Then Alissa and Matt and Jenni convinced me to come to this shitty farce of an 'X-Factor' pantomime (which, granted, I could have just said 'no' to, but I have some sort of complex when it comes to being left out) and I had to sit in between 2 chairs, which was WELL uncomfortable. So I was feeling foul. Then Matt started doing this thing, whereby when I am in a bad mood, he makes it worse by being a dickhead (OK, so he was actually trying to cheer me up, but that is not the point). And Jenni joined in. Then Alissa got upset because I was in a bad mood, which made me feel EVEN worse. ARGH.
So then I gave Matt a lift home in total silence. Joy. I'm not mad at him anymore. It's hard to stay angry at him. Also, I did deserve it for being a moody prick.
But I now am in possession of a 'toy' (still pretty bad-ass) accordion. So that cheered me up. But now I haven't done any work AGAIN.
I think to myself "I can't wait for summer, all this will be over," but in summer I need to find a job, argh, and if I don't, I'll feel bad because my parents will be irritated/angry at me for it, no matter how hard I try. My parents expect a lot. Also, I really don't want to grow up. Jobs, cars... Scary shit. If I don't get the grades I need for Uni, I think I might die. And I'm really doubting my ability to get said grades.


That's all, folks.