Romeo and Juliet: The Happy Ending

So Romeo has heard of Juliet’s death. He rushes to her tomb where his worst fears are confirmed. He draws his dagger, tears streaming down his cheeks. He raises it, as Juliet awakens. She screams, catches his hand in the nick of time. They embrace. Each feels ecstatic.
The Capulets are so overjoyed at the news of their daughter’s new life, that they end the feud with the Montagues. The couple re-marry, and everyone shares their utter happiness. The two move in together, nice place, lots of space. Not long ‘til a kid comes along.
Lord Capulet passes away. He leaves nothing to the happy couple; turns out he never really did forgive the Montagues. Bad blood rises once more between the families. The young couple leave the city and make themselves a new home.
Later that year, the Montague family are involved with some tax evasion offences. Declare bankruptcy. The couple are ruined. Romeo has to get a job; he hates it, but it’s worth it to keep the wife and child he loves so dearly alive.
He gets home one day to find no dinner on the table. Hungry and irritable, he moans at his love. She snaps back and it escalates into a shouting competition. Later they both sheepishly apologise and carry on as normal. They vow never to argue again.
A few weeks later Romeo is searching for his old rapier; questions his lady. She explains how she threw “that rusty old toy” away. Romeo explodes - the argument rages for hours. That evening, embarrassed, they both act like nothing happened.
Not long after, Romeo, on his way home from the job he loathes, is accosted by a young man who asks for some spare change. Grudgingly, Romeo gets out his wallet. The man grabs at it, but Romeo pushes him down with ease. As he turns to walk away, four much larger men step out from an alleyway. Three of them hold him as the other two beat and rob him. He is shown sympathy from Juliet when he arrives home, but she soon gets tired of his self-pity. Accusing him of being self-absorbed, she kick-starts a chain reaction of built-up irritations, and the worst quarrel yet emerges. The next few days are as normal, but with a distinct air of bitterness.
Romeo takes a much needed holiday and visits some of his family for a few days. However his welcome is worn out sooner than expected, and he heads home two days early. His curtains are drawn, and he enters the house suspiciously. The slamming door causes scuffles from the bedroom. He opens the door with apprehension, only to be staring at another man in his bed. But the man is not alone.
After a three-day-long argument, Juliet leaves Romeo’s life with the only person to never betray him; the six month old child. Juliet gets a job to survive.
Much of Romeo’s wages are put towards his local pub’s profit.
She is abandoned by the child she was too busy to love.
Both die alone and unhappy.

The moral of the story: kill yourself when you are happy to avoid a life of misery, because in the end, everyone fucks you over.