Sunday, January 07, 2007
Made me laugh and think
Saw this:
Bored of just ranting and moaning about trivial things. Bring on the worthwhile posts!
Bored of just ranting and moaning about trivial things. Bring on the worthwhile posts!
The confines of the gates of perception
HH raised some good points in comments on previous posts here. Made me think.
"Significance" and "purpose" are concepts created by mankind. So the whole debating whether there is a purpose or meaning to live is defunct (is that in the correct context?), because those are just words that humankind has applied a definition to.
I still feel like there's something I'm not getting. I don't have the answers, but I'm not even sure of the question. I feel like theres something that doesn't have an answer, but I can't quite figure the question out to ask it. I might make a new blog for this sort of shit. I fucking love blogging, does it make me weird?
I want to drop acid.
"Significance" and "purpose" are concepts created by mankind. So the whole debating whether there is a purpose or meaning to live is defunct (is that in the correct context?), because those are just words that humankind has applied a definition to.
I still feel like there's something I'm not getting. I don't have the answers, but I'm not even sure of the question. I feel like theres something that doesn't have an answer, but I can't quite figure the question out to ask it. I might make a new blog for this sort of shit. I fucking love blogging, does it make me weird?
I want to drop acid.
Bore
I am bored. Henry Rollins is pretty funny. Stayed at Matt's last night, came home today so I could tidy my room. May as well have stayed up in London and done something, really.
Had a good time last night at Hauwa's, even though she refused to show me affection when I got upset because she misconstrued what I said as sexual (dirty mind).
My life is so boring that I have nothing to write on here.
I got my money back from the card fraud. I still have to sort out various things with that, though.
Sigh, sigh, sigh.
I want to be more creative, should try and make more videos.
I'm not even sure if this is worth posting.
Had a good time last night at Hauwa's, even though she refused to show me affection when I got upset because she misconstrued what I said as sexual (dirty mind).
My life is so boring that I have nothing to write on here.
I got my money back from the card fraud. I still have to sort out various things with that, though.
Sigh, sigh, sigh.
I want to be more creative, should try and make more videos.
I'm not even sure if this is worth posting.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Title
I wrote this at work today:
"At work, I’ve finished most of my little jobs for the day, so I’m pretty bored. But I’ve always said I’d rather be bored than stressed, so it’s not so bad. Tequila night was fun (video to come), although I had to leave before it was over.
I feel glum again, and glum is an extremely underused word. One of my favourites, along with ‘resilience’ (hilariously, I didn’t know how to spell that) and ‘snug’. I hope that ‘glum’ has the same root as ‘gloomy’; I suspect it does.
Here are some excerpts from conversations I have had at this office which I have enjoyed:
Whilst listening to Kyuss
Johnny: “Is that Queens of the Stone Age? Oh, no, wait, it’s Kyuss”
Whilst listening to Weezer
Owens: “I like that song”
Me: “Do you even know who I’m listening to?”
Owens: “Yeah, Weezer. My Name Is Jonas, right?”
Whilst deciding what to listen to:
Nitel: “Can we have something different?”
Me: “How about Boards of Canada?”
Johnny: “Which album?”
Me: “Music Has The Right To Children”
Johnny: “It’s a classic album”
(Later)
Ed: “Is that Boards of Canada?”
Whilst listening to Venetian Snares
Ed: “Sounds like Aphex Twin”
Me: “So what music do you like?”
Roy: “Mostly rock… Have you ever heard of Tool?”
None of you will enjoy these conversations as much as I do, but I would not have expected any of the above people to know anything about any bands that I enjoy.
Since my bank account is empty due to this card fraud business, none of my standing orders for this month went out. I am being charged £140 for this.
I dislike financial institutions. "
I feel even more glum now. I want to talk to everyone about everything... But I can hardly bring myself to say a word.
"At work, I’ve finished most of my little jobs for the day, so I’m pretty bored. But I’ve always said I’d rather be bored than stressed, so it’s not so bad. Tequila night was fun (video to come), although I had to leave before it was over.
I feel glum again, and glum is an extremely underused word. One of my favourites, along with ‘resilience’ (hilariously, I didn’t know how to spell that) and ‘snug’. I hope that ‘glum’ has the same root as ‘gloomy’; I suspect it does.
Here are some excerpts from conversations I have had at this office which I have enjoyed:
Whilst listening to Kyuss
Johnny: “Is that Queens of the Stone Age? Oh, no, wait, it’s Kyuss”
Whilst listening to Weezer
Owens: “I like that song”
Me: “Do you even know who I’m listening to?”
Owens: “Yeah, Weezer. My Name Is Jonas, right?”
Whilst deciding what to listen to:
Nitel: “Can we have something different?”
Me: “How about Boards of Canada?”
Johnny: “Which album?”
Me: “Music Has The Right To Children”
Johnny: “It’s a classic album”
(Later)
Ed: “Is that Boards of Canada?”
Whilst listening to Venetian Snares
Ed: “Sounds like Aphex Twin”
Me: “So what music do you like?”
Roy: “Mostly rock… Have you ever heard of Tool?”
None of you will enjoy these conversations as much as I do, but I would not have expected any of the above people to know anything about any bands that I enjoy.
Since my bank account is empty due to this card fraud business, none of my standing orders for this month went out. I am being charged £140 for this.
I dislike financial institutions. "
I feel even more glum now. I want to talk to everyone about everything... But I can hardly bring myself to say a word.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Nova
I'm bored, but only because I feel I have to limit the amount I play World of Warcraft.
I had to tell my boss what "ergo" meant today.
My speakers are crazily bassy, to the extent that I could barely hear the singing over this new-to-me bassline that shook the whole house. It's not even particularly turned up. Brilliant.
Getting back to the dork inside me, my WoW character is awesome. I'm kick-ass at healing and casting protection spells, I can smite people (literally, my attack is "smite"), I can cause lightning bolts to rain down on all who oppose me and I have some wicked-bad dark magic. He's starting to look alright, too: light blue robes and a big ol' staff.
I was feeling very contemplative this morning, thought about how insignificant and meaningless pretty much everything is. It's weird how much people care about things. It's weird that people care at all, sometimes. But then, I care because I was raised to.
Even if some form of nuclear war broke out (heaven forfend, I'm enjoying living, regardless of how pointless it is) and humanity was wiped out, the earth would keep spinning and orbiting. And the earth is fucking tiny compared to the sun, let alone the solar system, galaxy and beyond. Yet we fill our lives with our activities and emotions, as though we are fulfilling some sort of purpose. Then again, it depends how you look at it; our purpose, in some sense, is to propagate, which involves finding a partner that's suitable, with which comes love, heartbreak, and (in terms of forming a habitable community) friendship and work. So maybe we are filling our purpose perfectly. Then again, maybe we should be able to do it without destroying the world.
And another thing: how come humans are smart? Evolution. Evolution is the changing of a species over time to better suit it's surroundings. But we didn't change to suit our surroundings, we changed to use our surroundings to alter our environment... I think I'm getting confused. But lions evolve to be fast to catch prey to live another day. We evolved to be smart enough to figure out that we can exploit resources. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that humankind seems to be some sort of fuckup of nature.
OR MAYBE God made us like this so that we could worship him as we destroy what he built... Yeah, "sure, burn down the home I built for you, as long as you get on your knees before me!"
All this bollocks about how everything good in the world is from God, but all the fuckups are a result of humankind's flaws and the devil and so on... If God was really so great, couldn't he get rid of this Satan character? And couldn't he have made us a little more perfect? No, 'cause then we'd be equal to God, and he wants to feel like a big man.
Perhaps there is no God, maybe we're just a pile of carbon that congealed together by coincidence and evolved? Nah, couldn't be. The odds of that are like a billion-billion-billion-to-one, and EVERYONE knows that the universe isn't just finite, but also quite small.
Having made that sarcastic comment, I think the universe probably is finite, but the space around the universe may or may not be infinite (though that's quite irrelevant) and there's probably several "universes". I mean, a universe is just the result of an exploding singularity (in layman's terms, I think), so why was there just this one singularity sitting in the middle of nowhere (literally)?... I really need to read more books on Physics and stuff, or I will totally not keep up on my course this year (WAHOO, it's this year!).
Well this has been long and pointless, but I've enjoyed letting my brain-goo stream for a while, I'll have to do it more often.
Definitely going to re-read a brief history of time and the universe in a nutshell, what else should I get?
I had to tell my boss what "ergo" meant today.
My speakers are crazily bassy, to the extent that I could barely hear the singing over this new-to-me bassline that shook the whole house. It's not even particularly turned up. Brilliant.
Getting back to the dork inside me, my WoW character is awesome. I'm kick-ass at healing and casting protection spells, I can smite people (literally, my attack is "smite"), I can cause lightning bolts to rain down on all who oppose me and I have some wicked-bad dark magic. He's starting to look alright, too: light blue robes and a big ol' staff.
I was feeling very contemplative this morning, thought about how insignificant and meaningless pretty much everything is. It's weird how much people care about things. It's weird that people care at all, sometimes. But then, I care because I was raised to.
Even if some form of nuclear war broke out (heaven forfend, I'm enjoying living, regardless of how pointless it is) and humanity was wiped out, the earth would keep spinning and orbiting. And the earth is fucking tiny compared to the sun, let alone the solar system, galaxy and beyond. Yet we fill our lives with our activities and emotions, as though we are fulfilling some sort of purpose. Then again, it depends how you look at it; our purpose, in some sense, is to propagate, which involves finding a partner that's suitable, with which comes love, heartbreak, and (in terms of forming a habitable community) friendship and work. So maybe we are filling our purpose perfectly. Then again, maybe we should be able to do it without destroying the world.
And another thing: how come humans are smart? Evolution. Evolution is the changing of a species over time to better suit it's surroundings. But we didn't change to suit our surroundings, we changed to use our surroundings to alter our environment... I think I'm getting confused. But lions evolve to be fast to catch prey to live another day. We evolved to be smart enough to figure out that we can exploit resources. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that humankind seems to be some sort of fuckup of nature.
OR MAYBE God made us like this so that we could worship him as we destroy what he built... Yeah, "sure, burn down the home I built for you, as long as you get on your knees before me!"
All this bollocks about how everything good in the world is from God, but all the fuckups are a result of humankind's flaws and the devil and so on... If God was really so great, couldn't he get rid of this Satan character? And couldn't he have made us a little more perfect? No, 'cause then we'd be equal to God, and he wants to feel like a big man.
Perhaps there is no God, maybe we're just a pile of carbon that congealed together by coincidence and evolved? Nah, couldn't be. The odds of that are like a billion-billion-billion-to-one, and EVERYONE knows that the universe isn't just finite, but also quite small.
Having made that sarcastic comment, I think the universe probably is finite, but the space around the universe may or may not be infinite (though that's quite irrelevant) and there's probably several "universes". I mean, a universe is just the result of an exploding singularity (in layman's terms, I think), so why was there just this one singularity sitting in the middle of nowhere (literally)?... I really need to read more books on Physics and stuff, or I will totally not keep up on my course this year (WAHOO, it's this year!).
Well this has been long and pointless, but I've enjoyed letting my brain-goo stream for a while, I'll have to do it more often.
Definitely going to re-read a brief history of time and the universe in a nutshell, what else should I get?
Monday, January 01, 2007
I'm a loser, baby, so why don't you kill me?
I feel blue. I felt blue before downloading more Explosions in the Sky, now I feel even more so.
Bleh.
Went downstairs to the computer, where my dad has been playing his music loud enough to be heard in my room all night. Asked if I could use the computer for half an hour, he said no. I was like 'Oh. Cheers.'
So then I fel annoyed and asked if he could at least turn down his music. He said no. So I shouted something at him about being selfish and he made his usual "I pay the bills" comment. So I shouted how that itself was also selfish, and that money isn't everything.
So then I started playing Pendulum extremely loud, which I don't even want to be listening to. Can't turn it off, though, I'm making a point.
I don't even want to be doing any of this, it's just because I'm in a bad mood. I don't even know why; probably just that time of the month or something.
This blog is entirely pointless. My life in the short-term is entirely pointless. I'm going to have to go to bed soon, lest I be tired for the week ahead. The week of fucking work. I feel like some middle aged man who still lives with his parents.
Naught left to do now but turn off the lights and open my curtains. It's just a shame it's so cloudy.
Oh, and make a cup of tea.
Bleh.
Went downstairs to the computer, where my dad has been playing his music loud enough to be heard in my room all night. Asked if I could use the computer for half an hour, he said no. I was like 'Oh. Cheers.'
So then I fel annoyed and asked if he could at least turn down his music. He said no. So I shouted something at him about being selfish and he made his usual "I pay the bills" comment. So I shouted how that itself was also selfish, and that money isn't everything.
So then I started playing Pendulum extremely loud, which I don't even want to be listening to. Can't turn it off, though, I'm making a point.
I don't even want to be doing any of this, it's just because I'm in a bad mood. I don't even know why; probably just that time of the month or something.
This blog is entirely pointless. My life in the short-term is entirely pointless. I'm going to have to go to bed soon, lest I be tired for the week ahead. The week of fucking work. I feel like some middle aged man who still lives with his parents.
Naught left to do now but turn off the lights and open my curtains. It's just a shame it's so cloudy.
Oh, and make a cup of tea.
Nappy Yew Hear
So who decided that we should celebrate at this particular point in the Earth's orbit around the Sun? How can an orbit have a beginning or an end? Strange. Nevertheless, happy new year to you all, hopefully 2007 will be better than 2006, though it's already not off to a brilliant start for numerous reasons. I won't go into them but there were various different fiascoes last night.
I enjoyed the party myself and didn't personally have any direct conflict with anyone (in fact several people who I didn't and still don't know were being rather pleasant to me, so well done to the human race, I s'pose), but some close friends made some mistakes, had some arguments, got bitter, walked off alone at 3am, etc...
Got drunk. Wasted about £18 on alcohol, drank about £3 worth. Felt queasy at every sip. I'm going to give up drinking properly for a bit I think. I know I never properly "drank" in the first place, but I still did on and off. Nope, that's it for now, I think.
Greg fucked us all.
Matt quit smoking, he was proud of himself after 15 minutes. Not sure how long he kept it up; probably went to sleep not long after, so I imagine he's doing well.
I don't have any new year's resolutions per se... I'm constantly striving to improve myself by moaning less, etc, I'm not really sure there's a need for a new year's resolution. Maybe I'll think of something today and try and stick to it.
Blah, not sure what else to say. World of Warcraft is immensely fun.
Boo, work tomorrow, humbug.
I enjoyed the party myself and didn't personally have any direct conflict with anyone (in fact several people who I didn't and still don't know were being rather pleasant to me, so well done to the human race, I s'pose), but some close friends made some mistakes, had some arguments, got bitter, walked off alone at 3am, etc...
Got drunk. Wasted about £18 on alcohol, drank about £3 worth. Felt queasy at every sip. I'm going to give up drinking properly for a bit I think. I know I never properly "drank" in the first place, but I still did on and off. Nope, that's it for now, I think.
Greg fucked us all.
Matt quit smoking, he was proud of himself after 15 minutes. Not sure how long he kept it up; probably went to sleep not long after, so I imagine he's doing well.
I don't have any new year's resolutions per se... I'm constantly striving to improve myself by moaning less, etc, I'm not really sure there's a need for a new year's resolution. Maybe I'll think of something today and try and stick to it.
Blah, not sure what else to say. World of Warcraft is immensely fun.
Boo, work tomorrow, humbug.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
